What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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