how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
