happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
And then my night got REAL pukey
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
