after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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