Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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