He disabled his match.com account in front of me
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
