i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize