R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Randomize
