Grow some girl-balls and come out already
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
he's single and there are thong briefs.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
