Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize