Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
