i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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