i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
