please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
