on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
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I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
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i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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