he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize