Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
a search helicopter?!
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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