i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
