There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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