if you like me you must not know who I am
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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