I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
