I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Randomize
