When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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