Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
