I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
