Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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