so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I enjoy the company of your penis
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
