At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
