I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
