tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
