No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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