is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
