Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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