your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you traded sex for a burrito?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
