SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
