Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
do herpes really smell.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
