Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
