I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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