hotel room ftw
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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