I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
