4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Someone shit on the floor
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
