idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
