some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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