Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My bed smells like the plague
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