i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
