Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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