Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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