ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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