If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
