first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
