ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
