I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
