My room smells like vodka and shame
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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