i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm bleeding and have questions
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
