i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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