i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
In America we eat man semen.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
we're so committed to being not committed
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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