So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
