Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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