i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
