Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
