The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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