Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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